Nicki Ranger

Nicki Ranger

The Ultimate Meatball Sub (Yes, that's the one with cheesy garlic bread)

7/7/2019

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​The Ultimate Meatball Sub. Yes, that's the one with cheesy garlic bread.

(Vegetarians and carbs avoiders, look away now.)

Something caught my eye as I dashed along a city street on Friday evening. Was it a sparkly dress in the window of a boutique? A pair of designer shoes, or a newly opened restaurant? Nope, it was a cheesy garlic bread sandwich on a Subway poster.

Subway has introduced The Ultimate range to its branches in Australia. A choice of  subs built on cheesy garlic bread, or you can choose to have the cheesy garlic bread as an upgrade option on any sandwich. Only available for a limited time!

I went for The Ultimate Meatball Sub. I nearly ordered two, one to devour immediately and the other to take selfies with, but I forced myself to calm down. This isn’t a photogenic meal. These beasts get sloppy real quickly.

Actually I should have taken in progress shots as the sandwich artist was working his magic. Garlic butter slathered all along both sides of the sub, triple cheese, lashings of mozzarella and then into the toasting oven to melt it all down. 

I did get thrown off guard by still having the usual choices of bread as a base (I get really panicked by unexpected questions when I’m ordering a sandwich). I picked the standard white bread, although I reckon this sub would work really well with one of the brown bread varieties too. Did I have salad? Yes, just tomato, green capsicum and spinach leaves.

So what’s my verdict on this extravaganza of a sandwich? Well, The Ultimate Meatball Sub is exactly what you need when you’re craving something cheesy, garlicy, meaty and a little bit greasy. It’s like instead of going somewhere for a whole pizza plus garlic bread, you can go to Subway where all your needs will be met in just one sandwich. I can’t imagine it surviving a home delivery trip, so make this a treat for when you’re actually passing by to pick it up.

Was I highly satisfied at the end of my meal? Yes, definitely, yes.

Could you make something like it at home? Of course you could, but then you’d end up eating six of them in a week, and that might be a problem. 
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Which reality TV show will you win – according to your star sign?

30/6/2019

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Image: 123rf.com Image Ref: ​50437580 
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Aries
(21 March – 19 April)
You’re ruthless, attention seeking and will trample over others to get ahead in the game. Oozing confidence, you strut around through life with the unshakeable belief that you are better than everyone else. 
You will win…  The Bachelor / Bachelorette 

via GIPHY


​Taurus
(20 April – 20 May)
You enjoy the finer things in life and you’re prepared to work hard to get them. You like to have everything your own way. If someone doesn’t appreciate your particular choice of music, food or wine, you’ll be judging them. Harshly.
You will win… My Kitchen Rules

via GIPHY


Gemini
(21 May – 20 June)
You can talk. In fact, you can work a room like no one else. Networking comes naturally to you. Combine that with your twin personalities and you can effortlessly show a different side to yourself depending on who’s around. Who cares if you can’t form genuine, long term connections?
You will win… The Apprentice

via GIPHY


Cancer
(21 June – 22 July)
You love cake, but you also love your partner / mum / kids / dog and want to prove that you’re not actually useless. Your little country town will get valuable tourism investment when you bring a TV crew home with you. Just don’t let them put the local bakery out of business.
You will win… The Biggest Loser

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Leo
(23 July - 22 August)
Always the attention seeker, you’re a natural performer who can sometimes go overboard when putting on a show. You’re confident and ready to take on the world, but you’ll be kind to people along the way. As if that ever got anyone far in life.
You will win… The X-Factor

via GIPHY


​Virgo
(23 August – 22 September)
When you like someone you will go out of your way to be kind and caring. You can be picky and critical but you’re equally harsh on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance. All that time you spend fussing in front of the mirror pays dividends.
You will win… Love Island

via GIPHY


Libra
(23 September – 22 October)
You’re a charming little social butterfly, showing off just enough to make people notice you, before morphing into whatever character you think they might like you to be. Your co-dependent relationship with your singing coach means you’re now destined to have five beautiful minutes at the top of the iTunes chart.
You will win… The Voice

via GIPHY


Scorpio
(23 October – 21 November)
You love mysteries and are on a constant quest for truth. You’re persistent AF, which makes you hard to get rid of once you’ve got your mind set on something. In relationships, are you really as in love as you seem, or do you just refuse to give up?
By still being with your partner ten years later, you will win… Married At First Sight

via GIPHY


Sagittarius
(22 November – 21 December)
You’re all about kicking goals, no matter how ludicrous your goals might seem to others. You’re a daredevil who can’t sit still. There’s mountains to climb, marathons to run and endurance world records to be beaten. Your dream is to represent your country when extreme ironing becomes a recognised Olympic sport.
You will win… The Amazing Race

via GIPHY


Capricorn
(22 Dec – 19 Jan)
It’s hard to see someone as serious as you ever finding a place on reality TV. You’re disciplined, hard-working and bordering on authoritarian. You’ve got a creative side but you don’t have time for anything frivolous. If you get the chance to be a bossy-boots then you’ll truly be in your element.
You will win… The Block

via GIPHY


​Aquarius
(20 January – 18 February)
You enjoy growing hair. Everywhere. Smells don’t bother you and neither do bugs. Charming, eccentric and caring, you’re the quintessential hippy, fighting for what’s right.
You will win… Survivor

via GIPHY


Pisces
(19 February – 20 March)
You’re the ultimate daydreamer. In fact, you mostly live in your dream world because it’s nicer than the real world. Despite all your hard work, will you ever make it? Does anyone actually care about your dreams?
You will win… So You Think You Can Dance

via GIPHY

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10 things British people don't know about Australia until we move here

30/6/2019

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Image: Poidabro [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]
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Australia eh? It's all sunny and full of animals that can kill you. Spiders too, spiders that can kill you. Well, yes that's all true, but here's some lesser known facts to prepare you for normal life in an Australian city.

1) It gets cold in Australia

Seriously. We have cold winter days here, especially in June and July. Aussies wear coats in winter, just like everyone else. What we don’t have here is central heating, so we just sit at home with no heating whatsoever and huddle up under layers of blankets while we’re watching TV. Some areas of Australia even get snow, enough that there’s a whole region of ski resorts around the Snowy Mountains, just south of Canberra.​

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​2) No-one 
actually drinks Fosters
All those adverts on TV back home, where blokes in the outback are sitting around swigging cans of Fosters and hanging out with their pet kangaroos? Sorry mate, all just one big marketing con. Australians love a cold beer, but it’ll be a Coopers, James Boag’s, Little Creatures, or any of the legions of other local beers that taste so much better than Fosters.

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​3) Australia doesn’t have any copper coins

In fact, 1c and 2c coins were withdrawn from circulation back in 1992. It took me weeks to realise this because when I first arrived in Australia there was a copper coin rattling around in my purse, a copper coin which I just assumed was a 1c coin. Nope, it was just a penny that was suddenly a long, long way from home. Pricing in shops is often still down to the cent, but the total value of cash payments is automatically rounded up or down to the nearest 5c.

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​4) You can’t buy fireworks in Australia

Anywhere. Except for one day a year in the Northern Territory. Only licensed pyrotechnics professionals are allowed to buy and use fireworks. What this does mean is that every big public event, sporting occasion or even just most Saturday evenings in Sydney’s Darling Harbour, will end with a firework display. New Zealand celebrates Bonfire Night on 5th November, but Australia doesn’t.

via GIPHY


5) There's a doona on your bed
You thought you had a pretty good grasp on Aussie slang from all those years watching Neighbours and Home & Away. But did you ever hear anyone discussing their bed linen? Of course not, they're family shows. So you never learnt that a ‘duvet’ or ‘quilt’ is usually known as a ‘doona’ in Australia.

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6) You can’t buy booze in the supermarket
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But there is a supermarket devoted to booze. It’s called Dan Murphy’s.

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7) Australian English isn’t always very British
In fact, it’s more American at times. Over here we watch movies not films, wear pants not trousers and if you’re in the market for a new home you’ll need to see a real estate agent. Why are they so ‘real’? And another thing I’m pretty sure we’ve inherited from the US - the ad breaks on TV are in all the wrong places. You can’t make a cuppa between one programme (I mean, show) and the next because there’s no break in between!

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8) Australian’s love to watch 'the footie’
You’re absolutely right in thinking ‘footie’ must be short for football, but in New South Wales, ‘footie’ means NRL (National Rugby League). In Victoria and Western Australia, ‘footie’ means AFL (Australian Football League), which is the game that you might have heard of as ‘Aussie rules footballs’. Both leagues kick off in March, with grand finals around the end of September. A couple of weeks later the A-League starts, and that’s the football league. Except most people insist on calling it soccer.

via GIPHY


9) There’s a huge subculture known as ‘bush doof’ parties
Dance music took a long while to gain popularity in Australia and any music with a repetitive electronic beat was derided as ‘all that doof doof music’. Party people were being judged in the cities so they took the party out to the bush. That means ‘the countryside’, by the way. Nothing to do with pubic hair. ‘Doofing’ is not just about music but also incorporates experimental arts, health and wellbeing, with an ethos of everyone being kind to each other and to the environment. 

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10) ‘Thongs’ are not a type of underwear
Thongs are flip-flops and they’re not just for the beach. Thongs are standard day-to-day footwear and it’s only really necessary to swap them for something more substantial when you’re in the office or at a wedding. Wearing thongs to the shops, out to lunch, or to any casual social occasion is just plain normal.

via GIPHY

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What does your choice of social media say about you?

30/6/2019

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What does your choice of social media say about you?

Facebook
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You’re a regular person. You’ve got a well-rounded life with a partner, kids, career and an interesting hobby. Your other hobby is oversharing. Anyone who doesn’t care about the next episode in the school hair nits debacle can take solace in scrolling through photos from your recent extreme crocheting weekender. 

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Twitter
​
Oh you were in your school debating society, weren’t you? You with your political insights and slightly pompous opinions? Thank heavens you’re limited to 280 characters every time you want to fart your thoughts out across the internet. 

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Instagram
​
Literally all you can do with this app is post pictures of yourself looking pretty and then wait for your followers to confirm that yes, you look pretty today. There’s no room for discussion or opinion, just an endless cycle of beauty and validation. Your personal brand image dictates your every move. In real life you’re actually quite boring.

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Snapchat
Originally used exclusively by those who enjoyed distributing unsolicited genital images, Snapchat’s main purpose now is to share your drunken exploits with everyone who wasn’t at the same pub as you last night. You’ve been embellishing your selfies with stars and cat ears for years, so when Instagram finally introduced all the same filters it was like the Kardashians were trying to keep up with the high street. You're a local girl with a big heart. 

via GIPHY

Vero
Vero launched in 2015. Everyone with a brand to promote joined the network. No-one else ever joined. Vero now supports emerging artists, of the grown up and sophisticated variety, across all creative disciplines. If you’re using Vero, you’re probably rich and talented.

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LinkedIn
A place for professional people to share their industry insights, thought leadership and work related news. And then there’s you. Reposting inspirational status essays written by a fitness brand influencer, who is actually now in jail for conning her followers into buying miracle healing tea products made entirely from dried up lettuce. You’re everyone’s earnest but embarrassing co-worker, and you always will be.

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YouTube
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YouTube video creators can make real income from streaming, so if you’re posting videos and people who aren’t your mates are watching them, congrats! You’re not necessarily talented, but you have hit on a formula that makes people click, subscribe and share. If on the other hand you spend all day sharing your innermost thoughts in the YouTube comments section, you’re most definitely male, on the dole and have a questionable approach to personal hygiene. 

via GIPHY

Myspace
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You’re doing something in the entertainment business and just want to make very, very sure that you’ve got a presence in every searchable corner of the internet. Or else you’re the stalwart American reality TV and game show contestant Ken Scalir, who is the last known human to be using Myspace as his primary social media platform.

via GIPHY

Google +
​It’s dead. Presumably then so are you.

via GIPHY

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To Discombobulate, Or Not To Discombobulate?

12/2/2015

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 On a recent Sunday morning, after a slightly large night out drinking, my sensational friend Sandy announced that she was feeling rather discombobulated.

Whilst I agreed with and indeed shared Sandy’s feeling of discombobulation, I was absolutely convinced that she had just invented a splendid new word.

We consulted our excellent associate Erin on this important matter and somewhere along the way it was brought to my attention that discombobulate must indeed be a word because none other than Nicole Kidman had recently used the word ‘discombobulating’ in an interview. 
[Click link below to read more....]


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    Nicki Ranger is a freelance writer currently based in Perth, Western Australia. 

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