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Aries (21 March – 19 April) You’re ruthless, attention seeking and will trample over others to get ahead in the game. Oozing confidence, you strut around through life with the unshakeable belief that you are better than everyone else. You will win… The Bachelor / Bachelorette Taurus (20 April – 20 May) You enjoy the finer things in life and you’re prepared to work hard to get them. You like to have everything your own way. If someone doesn’t appreciate your particular choice of music, food or wine, you’ll be judging them. Harshly. You will win… My Kitchen Rules Gemini (21 May – 20 June) You can talk. In fact, you can work a room like no one else. Networking comes naturally to you. Combine that with your twin personalities and you can effortlessly show a different side to yourself depending on who’s around. Who cares if you can’t form genuine, long term connections? You will win… The Apprentice Cancer (21 June – 22 July) You love cake, but you also love your partner / mum / kids / dog and want to prove that you’re not actually useless. Your little country town will get valuable tourism investment when you bring a TV crew home with you. Just don’t let them put the local bakery out of business. You will win… The Biggest Loser Leo (23 July - 22 August) Always the attention seeker, you’re a natural performer who can sometimes go overboard when putting on a show. You’re confident and ready to take on the world, but you’ll be kind to people along the way. As if that ever got anyone far in life. You will win… The X-Factor Virgo (23 August – 22 September) When you like someone you will go out of your way to be kind and caring. You can be picky and critical but you’re equally harsh on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance. All that time you spend fussing in front of the mirror pays dividends. You will win… Love Island Libra (23 September – 22 October) You’re a charming little social butterfly, showing off just enough to make people notice you, before morphing into whatever character you think they might like you to be. Your co-dependent relationship with your singing coach means you’re now destined to have five beautiful minutes at the top of the iTunes chart. You will win… The Voice Scorpio (23 October – 21 November) You love mysteries and are on a constant quest for truth. You’re persistent AF, which makes you hard to get rid of once you’ve got your mind set on something. In relationships, are you really as in love as you seem, or do you just refuse to give up? By still being with your partner ten years later, you will win… Married At First Sight Sagittarius (22 November – 21 December) You’re all about kicking goals, no matter how ludicrous your goals might seem to others. You’re a daredevil who can’t sit still. There’s mountains to climb, marathons to run and endurance world records to be beaten. Your dream is to represent your country when extreme ironing becomes a recognised Olympic sport. You will win… The Amazing Race Capricorn (22 Dec – 19 Jan) It’s hard to see someone as serious as you ever finding a place on reality TV. You’re disciplined, hard-working and bordering on authoritarian. You’ve got a creative side but you don’t have time for anything frivolous. If you get the chance to be a bossy-boots then you’ll truly be in your element. You will win… The Block Aquarius (20 January – 18 February) You enjoy growing hair. Everywhere. Smells don’t bother you and neither do bugs. Charming, eccentric and caring, you’re the quintessential hippy, fighting for what’s right. You will win… Survivor Pisces (19 February – 20 March) You’re the ultimate daydreamer. In fact, you mostly live in your dream world because it’s nicer than the real world. Despite all your hard work, will you ever make it? Does anyone actually care about your dreams? You will win… So You Think You Can Dance
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Nicki Ranger is a freelance writer currently based in Perth, Western Australia. Small Print
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